Life

I want to ask myself:

What am I doing in life?

What do I represent?

Where do I want to be in the future?

Do I value myself?

Am I settling for less?

Am I putting my best effort into this?

Am I happy?

Why am I here?

Who can I really rely on?

Who will be there for me?

Who can I trust?

What do I want?

Why am I wasting time?

If I think there's not enough time, why do I still find time to slack off?

When will this all be over?

Why do I feel so unhappy?

Why am I sad?

Why do I want to be sad?

What is wrong with me?

Can I really get a job with my stupidity?

Am I the useless one?

Why do people always see me as someone they can easily use and abuse?

Who am I?

Why is it that my favorite list of songs consist of sad ones?

If you were to label my blog, would it be emo?

Why is it that I write more and is more creative when I'm sad?

Why must I think so much?

What am I doing?

What am I doing to help my future?

Is there more to life than this?

Why do I always feel like crying?

Will I ever stop asking these questions?

Why do I feel so uneasy?

Why is it that when I have work I'm stressed and when I don't have work I feel like I should, and stress myself for not having any?

Why must we work our whole lives to work even more?

Where will I go when I die?

Will anyone miss me when I'm gone?

What if I don't ever want to leave?

How can I live like this?

How can I stop feeling this way?

Who can help me?

If I want to accomplish so much, why am I not doing anything?

Why is life so difficult?

Why live?

Feeling Helpless

I am so far away and I feel so helpless, I can't even help my mom out.

I worry about her so much, it drives me crazy.

I am rethinking this whole coming to NZ thing, even though I'm almost done, I should have saved the money, the time, the effort.

Cooking for people over here instead of my mom, laughing with people other than my mom.

I don't know, maybe this is a good thing so that I know and appreciate her more.

I hope that's the case, I hope I never make her sad again.

Please God, give me the strength to finish what I have started, to finish with my head held high, and to succeed so my mom can be proud and not worry and stress so much. Please keep her safe, wherever she is, whatever she is doing, and keep her thoughts on happy ones! Amen!

Am I Photogenic or Just Obsessed With Myself?

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The title speaks for itself.

I think that I take wayyy too many photos of myself. And some look better than others, I can't wait til I'm home and the bf takes photos of me for a fashion blog. I think instead of creating another blog, since I have totaling 3, I'll just put it on here!!! It'll be easier for me to manage!!!

Anyways, back to picture taking, I take a LOT LOT LOT LOT of pictures when I look good, of course, lol. It's obsessive, and overwhelming if you were to look at my picture folder, LMAO!

What do you do when you look good? Take pictures duh!! But some times, it can be really annoying, so I just don't tell anyone I do it, lol.

Except in this situation where I am telling whomever is reading this.

I don't care, everyone does it!! Except the men who hates taking pictures. lol