The Nature of ME

The Nature of ME
Me Being at My Best, ME!

Monday, July 19, 2010

The Weekend

It has gotten better, not everything has been figured out but for the most part the BF is willing to adjust which is a good thing, that's always a good thing, so I'm super excited and can't wait for those things to be adjusted... There are so many things to be thankful for, so I went shopping and bought the BF a couple shirts from my favorite store, Old Navy (ON)!!! He asked me what I got him and I told him they're really comfy shirts, so he's excited because he likes the soft fabric. From ON I also got some myself a cardigan that's brown because I need more colors in my wardrobe, and then I got clothes for my niece and nephew. I also got a bunch of jewelry from Wet Seal!!! So I have a haul on my jewelry filmed, it will be on YouTube once I edit it, so if you're interested you can go to my channel and check that out!!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

"Don't Settle"

"Don't Settle" says the ladies at the office.

Don't settle for less, and I shouldn't. I'm worth a lot more, so is everyone, so I'm not going to settle for anything less because every human being deserves more, this is my life and I am NOT going to settle, because in the future settling is not enough.


I find that through watching movies I feel so emotional. The feelings that movies and TV shows would make me feel, make me want to love and have fun. Yet I'm too lazy to call people to hang out and catch up. All my life I have been imagining and fantasizing about love and relationships and romance. Yet I tell myself that I don't care about romance, and I'm not much for it, but watching movies I find that I am a romanticism. I do want flowers and I do want him to light candles for me. I kept telling people that I don't care about flowers, but seeing others get it from their loved one, I feel a bit jealous. I want to know that he's thinking about me and buys me flowers.

Once the BF picked flowers for me, it was sweet, so sweet..

My sister and her husband go on dates, and their married. Now that is sweet, who plans it? Her husband does, that's even more romantic. I want to feel the butterflies fly in my tummy, I want to be nervous about what will happen and spill the juicy details to girls who will be jealous. I want to feel so in love again. Now I feel loved, but not in love, there is a difference. A big difference. Being in love is fun and exciting, feeling the love is knowing that the other person cares, but there's not much excitement, there's just certainty.

I would be so happy if the BF would do something out of the ordinary and plan a get-a-way weekend. I would be so excited and delighted. Will it happen? Never, he's not like that, nor would he ever think of something like this. He's an awesome man, don't get me wrong, but he's those men who doesn't know what to get a girl for her birthday or doesn't plan ahead. He buys things for you if you say you want it, but doesn't buy you anything if you don't say anything. I guess that's a good thing, I don't need any more pampering when I pamper myself too much.......

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I'm so disappointed at the BF. Men in general are disappointing, they say things and then don't go through with it.. It makes me so sad and depressed and disappointed.. WHY? What the heck am I talking about, right? Well the world is still going round, but just slower. There are things that a man says to a woman to make her feel secure and to make her have hope, and then he crashes that hope and steps on it like a cigarette burning.. It's depressing. Maybe I am like the cigarette that needs to be stepped on so it dies down, not that I need to die or anything, just calm down or something along those lines. After I said what I said, I felt kind of guilty, but how can I just go back on what I said? Not because I have pride, because it's always this way, if I don't give up, we'll be upset forever. This time I'm going through with it, I want a response from him. No matter what it is, I want to hear what he has to say, most times he just listens and doesn't say anything, and then later I feel bad and I say sorry or something.. I tend to be harsh and I'm trying not to be that way, I'm trying to be more patient because I'm never patient. But still, last night I couldn't sleep at all because I wanted to talk to him, so I just watched youtube on my blackberry. After about an hour of being bored and nothing good, I fell asleep, even though I went to bed early, I didn't fall asleep early. I'm sure he had a sleepless night too. Not really sure what will happen today/night but we will see, not really looking forward to it....

Monday, July 12, 2010


Marriage is such a serious subject. I was thinking about it to myself about when I want to get married and start my life with my significant other. I wanted to start after I graduate from college and starting my career. I want to have a kid by the time I'm 25, and that's only 4 years from now. Silly right? But I'm so serious about this, I really am. I don't know, but I was thinking and thinking about this seriously and it made me excited and sad at the same time. Sad because I would be more limited to what I do and all that stuff. Sad because I wont be near my family, I'll live 4-5 hours away from my parents. Excited because I really can't wait to spend the rest of my life with the BF! To me, it's so exciting, he is the most adorable person ever, he's so happy all the time (because he laughs at everything), and he's so patient with me!!

I told him what I thought, that I do want to go to graduate school but I want to marry first. Right after I get my Bachelor's, I would like to marry and then when I'm ready, I can go to graduate school after marriage, whenever that is, whether we start a family or not, I still will go to graduate school. I'm worth too much to not go, I need to do it for myself and for my parents. You are in a world of opportunities, why not take them?

His response was beautiful, he was so happy, he is 25 now so he already wants to marry but understands that I have a lot going for me. He sounded so excited and pleased. We talked a lot about it and about our future together. It led to so many other things that I was worried about, such as credit, cell phones, and boundaries.

With everything that was discussed, it made me satisfied that no matter what the situation is, we will deal with it together and in a good manner. He is willing to help me in any way he can and he is willing to adapt and change his ways to better our future. THAT is what I need in him and that is all that I want from a man!!!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Bads of Online Shopping

I bought shoes online, and now that I have them, more than half of them don't fit. They all fit in size wise, but because I have such wide feet, they don't fit. The bands that wrap around are too short and I can't stick my feet in all the way.

So, I can't return them because they're on clearance, so the only thing to do is sell them, how??? I have no idea, maybe ebay?? Maybe my blog, I don't know, I don't want to tell the BF about it, lol.. He'll be like, "Come on, you know better than that" and I'll be like, "I know, but they were on clearance!" I don't know, I'll most likely end up selling them on ebay, that's the only place I can get my money's worth for them...

Unless someone is reading this and interested. I might post pictures, not really sure yet. If you wear a size 8 and are interested, please let me know! They are heels, with a lot of straps, all from

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Without You

The days are long and the nights feel cold without you! I miss you so much. I can't wait until the day we are one!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Weekend with the BF

I had the best weekend with him ever!!! I videotaped a lot of stuff, so if I have time, I'll post them up. It's just so much work, but it'll be worth it if I do. I had so much FUN!!!! The love/BF was so great and so sweet, just everything that he said and did make me love him so much more.. I know, while you're reading this you want to know the past/present/future. OK OK OK!! Past, we've been together for almost three years, present, we are going strong and happy!!! Future, we would like to get married (soon for him) me after I graduate in two years! So, that'll be a while yet.. I can't wait to start a family with this man, he loves children so I'm super excited to begin our journey together.

So we got into town on Friday night, it only took us 2 1/2 hours to get to our destination, which should have taken us longer than that. The BF came later and he looked so good. Just wearing jeans and a green T from Old Navy that I bought him. He just looked so natural and yummy, lol! I couldn't wait to spend time with him.. So we hung out for a while and then we went to bed for the early wake up the next day. We woke up early and got ready for the tournament, they lost their first game but it was fine. He was super disappointed and so was I, but I had to be happy for him, otherwise everything will be ruined.. lol So we bought food from some of the vendors and we ate such yummy food, we strolled the other vendors and didn't see anything worth buying. We watched some more plays and he was being so sweet, telling us to sit under the shade with the team and their families, we just felt uncomfortable so we sat on MC's blanket that folds into a purse/bag. He bought food and at times I did too, but for the most part he was taking out his wallet out of my purse to pay for things. I <3 him!! So we went back to the motel and took a nap, after the two hour nap we went to Shopko and bought Monopoly deal and learned how to play and it was fun!! Time for bed and we woke up even earlier for the tournament, got ready and went. We watched their game and they won the first one, won the second one, and lost the third one that day. He was disappointed, like I knew he would be, and I was disappointed too, but I didn't want to show it too much and make him feel down.. Although the game was upsetting, we had fun! We left early and went swimming in the motel pool, just me and him. He was so sweet, carrying me on his back in the pool and running around, he made me laugh so much!!! Talking about how if someone told us to get a room, he would reply that we have a room already, LOL! He's such a nerd, in a good way that is. At times he looks like Steve Erkel, lol. He makes me so happy and giddy, I couldn't ask for more. I pushed him in the pool and he scraped his knee in the 3 feet deep side of the pool. I felt super bad, but it was only a little scrape. He was also trying to teach me swim because I can barely swim, he was teaching me how to do the breast-stroke and he was holding me from under. He was holding me too high because my feet was barely in the water when I was pedaling, lol! He tried holding me lower and I was just so off balanced that I fell in, lol! He was laughing and so was I. But it's ok, because when he was on my back, I accidentally tipped him over and he fell way under the pool. After that we went in because we were cold, he showered first and then I. When I went in there were towels all over the floor, I asked him why he used so many towels and he said, "so you wont trip"!!! HOW SWEET right? Anyways after that MC's BF arrived and they went swimming. The BF and I went back to the tournament while it was pouring and grabbed dinner there, we watched the last portion of the finally and it was pretty amazing, he said, "so this is how good teams play?" lol we went back and played monopoly deal and then headed to watch the fire works, we went on the bridge over the lake and it was so gorgeous, there were people standing in the rocks to watch the fireworks and then there were people in their boats. I wished we were on there, it would have been so romantic. We only saw the last 5 minutes of the fireworks, but it was so worth it, we caught it on camera too, I had to scream in excitement! He thinks it's so funny when I do that. So afterwards we go back hang out for a bit and then head off to bed. We wake up to check out and head to the mall, we stroll around and go to Payless for some shoes for work, not finding anything we leave the mall and wait for MC and her BF. We drive to the end of the parking lot and park, with the radio on and the AC blasting, he and I play Monopoly deal. It was fun!! He won several times and then after switching spots, I won a few times, he said that if he wins, he owns me, and if I win, then I own him.. What the hey?? lol I told him, well that's lame, no matter what we're gonna be together.. lol So he wins and he says he owns me, so he can marry me anytime and he can do whatever he wants. LOL ok weirdo. So we headed to the mall to eat and then we went to stroll the streets of the city, finding nothing we decided to go to the Botanical Garden. It was raining off and on and it costs $7 for adults, so we left and went to search for WalMart, for something to do. MC called and asked if we were ready so we went to the mall and decided to roam Downtown for something to do. My sister text me saying they usually went to Bay Beach, so that's where we went until 9pm. The BF and I went on the bumper cars with MC and her BF. First time ever that the BF went on the bumper cars, he said it was ok, but he had fun, I know it! We then went on the ferris wheel, first time I have ever been on it, not as tall as others that I've seen but it was scary, I hate that plunging feeling that it gave me. He caught it on camera, then we went to the swings that swing way up in the air, he also caught that on camera. That gave us all a little headache, I was dizzy for about 20 minutes. We left the amusement park and headed to our vehicles in the mall parking lot. I said bye and he did too, we hugged and kissed and left our own ways.

I miss him so much!! We got home at 11:40 and I went to bed right away, since I had to work today. I miss him so so much, he made me so happy and I realized that I do want to be his wife, no matter what and soon if possible, lol. I don't want to tell him that because he already wants me to. We have a long road ahead of us, I'm just waiting for the details..