The Nature of ME

The Nature of ME
Me Being at My Best, ME!

Friday, March 2, 2012


I cry for just about everything.

Sometimes I think that no matter what I cry about it doesn't matter anymore because the tears just keep falling. No matter what the situation is I am always crying.

I find myself crying over the small things the most and for the people I love.

Do you think that after people love you so much they can hate you? They feel resentment?

Then they end up giving up on you.

Maybe it's time to give up!

I spent the whole day crying to myself about everything. Family, friends, love, movies...

Thought about death and how scary it is, but I think that death doesn't come until you realize that you're ready, or at least I hope so.

It's depressing that I write things down more often when I'm sad rather than when I'm happy.

I think he resents me. He feels so much hate towards me that he's giving up on me.

Maybe that's why every time he doesn't care to contact me. I'm the one to make the first move, to apologize, to cry and ask for forgiveness.

Love is not about being shy of your feelings or feeling like you are being desperate when you tell them you still want to be with them, all of that doesn't matter when there's love.

How come I feel I'm the only one feeling these things?

Is this a one side relationship?

A few days ago I was taking a shower and had my undies hanging by the towel, I was talking to God and Jesus and I felt someone or something touch my shoulder ever so lightly. It scared me and it made me think that that was a sign from God, I turned around and found that it was my undies that brushed my shoulder.

Why can't I get another sign like that to reassure me that I'm on the right path with the right person?

Why am I always feeling bad and sorry for this person? Does he feel the same way or does he always feel that he's right? Does he think that I think I'm always right? I'm the only one who's ever apologized.

No matter how many tears fall, it doesn't matter.

I just have to realize that no one loves you as much as yourself. If you don't love yourself than there is no one left. No hope.


  1. Hey i wanted to make a comment...
    I found your blog on your youtube channel and i find it interesting...maybe lil too personal, but i guess that makes it more interesting.

    So just wanted to say that you should keep writing and not for the readers but for yourself, coz this will help you in the future.

    As for the have the same problem, i feel like im in one side relationship and everyone else are more important to him... I dont know...guess that is how it should be... Am i wrong? should make one blog rather then 3 small ones...

  2. Thanks?! I have 3 because they are all different topics, just like people on youtube have different channels for different topics and I don't think they're small at all, I have many posts. And my blogs are for me more than for anyone else.