Disappointment

I'm so disappointed at the BF. Men in general are disappointing, they say things and then don't go through with it.. It makes me so sad and depressed and disappointed.. WHY? What the heck am I talking about, right? Well the world is still going round, but just slower. There are things that a man says to a woman to make her feel secure and to make her have hope, and then he crashes that hope and steps on it like a cigarette burning.. It's depressing. Maybe I am like the cigarette that needs to be stepped on so it dies down, not that I need to die or anything, just calm down or something along those lines. After I said what I said, I felt kind of guilty, but how can I just go back on what I said? Not because I have pride, because it's always this way, if I don't give up, we'll be upset forever. This time I'm going through with it, I want a response from him. No matter what it is, I want to hear what he has to say, most times he just listens and doesn't say anything, and then later I feel bad and I say sorry or something.. I tend to be harsh and I'm trying not to be that way, I'm trying to be more patient because I'm never patient. But still, last night I couldn't sleep at all because I wanted to talk to him, so I just watched youtube on my blackberry. After about an hour of being bored and nothing good, I fell asleep, even though I went to bed early, I didn't fall asleep early. I'm sure he had a sleepless night too. Not really sure what will happen today/night but we will see, not really looking forward to it....